Dietary Requirements

Since my last rant, I have been verbally attacked by more than a few latte-drinking lululemon-wearing fake-blondes. It seems that Vancouverites, when attacked, become very passionate about defending their city. In a sense, I am relieved. Any opportunity to see a Vancouverite express a genuine emotion is cause for celebration in my books. Everybody who doesn't live here thinks that I am crazy for criticizing Vancouver because apparently it is such a wonderful place to live. Well, I guess they are right to some extent. I am sure that even the inhabitants of Mount Olympus got bees in their bonnets (or crowns of olive leaf) from time to time... Maybe Zeus was crimping their style. Deities can do that in the most ingenious ways, I have found.

Which brings me to the subjects of religion. The other day, I was having coffee with my friend Angus, and I was spouting off as I normally do. He told me my opinions had a lot in common with Nietzsche, which surprised me because I have never read any of his works. The only thing I know about him is that he said "God is dead", which makes perfect sense. Of course God is dead. God was never alive. Unless you are a Christian. For them, God is merely hibernating. We are, apparently, in the midst of a bleak midwinter. Duh.

And speaking of Christianity ('tis the season), I was talking with my roommate Mike and my friend Pablo after consuming a bottle of port. Both of them are lapsed Catholics. Have you ever noticed how nobody will admit to being a Catholic? Would you? Half the people I know, when asked about their religious persuasion say that they were "born Catholic". In fact, I think I only know one person who still admits to practicing Catholicism. Brave soul. Anyway, we were talking about transubstantiation, which is the belief that the bread and wine in communion become the blood and body of Christ. So, naturally, I wondered aloud why Catholics want to eat God. Is cannibalism a sacrament? Are Catholics anemic? Maybe the early Catholics had a low-protein diet and an active imagination. Nevertheless, I was confused. I mean, if you eat God, but God is dead, does that make you a pervert or just a potential victim of food poisoning?

There are just so many unanswered questions!