If you go to www.parterre.com, you can make your own "mad lib opera brochure" by filling in the blanks and submitting your responses. Here is what I came up with:
The 1944 season for Scranton Grand Opera promises an eclectic mix of Voluptuous and Dynamic works, as well as a gala Palpitations featuring the Intelligent personality Carol Channing as special bidet.
The thoughtful classic, Hindemith`s "La agilita di Poughkeepsie" boasts a new production directed by Britney Spears, with costumes by L. Ron Hubbard. This flatulent staging updates the action to turnpike in the early part of the 666th century. Soprano Leonie Rysanek stars as Lashawndra, a virginal bird bath who for most of the opera is disguised as a mysterious moped. Leonie Rysanek is perhaps best known from Wife Swap where she sang the lilting melody Sexy Back.
The neglected masterpiece "Der kaputschlechtbumsen" will be revived for only 57 performances. You probably already know the famous "viper Chorus" which was used on the soundtrack of the Academy Award winning film Bring it On. Due to the length of this work, all performances will begin at dawn.
Finally, the company will present the Lagos premiere of the opera "The Life and Times of Bob Barker" in a co-production with Opera Oregon-Pacific Sacramento (oops) and Opera Sous-Sol. The libretto is by Jeb Bush, based on the play Equus, and the music is adapted from the works of Schonberg by maestro Pierre Boulez. Exciting newcomer Deborah Winger makes her operatic debut as the flaccid heroine, and the men in her life are portrayed by Rush Limbaugh, Jon Stewart and Lassie.
Generous support for Scranton Grand Opera`s excrement was provided by the Delta Burke Foundation and the National Endowment for the dildo.
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